The purpose of romantic love is to bond us with another so that we begin to experience the inevitable tension of the power struggle … and stay committed to the process of healing and growth.
A relationship that is going through a power struggle is, in a sense, like a house divided against itself. It cannot maintain it’s divisiveness for long. We seem to be born with egocentric natures, and it’s natural to experience ourselves as the center of whatever space we occupy … the center of the universe.
However this becomes a problem in committed relationships. If our partner does not see it as we do, we assume they are not seeing it the “right” way. Often couples lose perspective and struggle for the center … they struggle to be right!
However our struggle for the center not only gets in the way of the relationship, it gets in the way of us experiencing our Divine purpose for the relationship, our Divine purpose in our lives and our children’s lives.
It is important to realize that conflict in a relationship has the potential to be a doorway to a deeper purpose for relationship; a place where wounds are healed and growth happens. As this happens, we experience a deeper connection with something greater than ourselves, alleviating the longing and disconnectedness that many of us have experienced all our lives.
Although sparks of conflict may feel uncomfortable but are really hidden treasures. They can be a doorway to deeper meaning and purpose and simply need understanding.
“Life taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
If you and your partner are experiencing difficulties, click here for help.
Adapted from Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples & Couplehood as a Spiritual Path by Harville Hendrix Ph.D.
