Folks, we are living in a polarized era sautéed with suspicion. You and I not only know this, we feel it — everyday. It can be difficult to discern the true from the false, and the energy it takes to do the daily mental calisthenics of fact and motive checking is colossal. While political polarization and divides…
Affairs today manifest in more insidious forms than tête-à-têtes with cryptic strangers. In our digital age, the temptation to emotionally or physically stray often begins benignly online. Messaging a friendly ex on social media. Text chemistry with an alluring coworker. The anonymity and accessibility that the internet provides lets flirtation escalate without anyone leaving home.…
What does it mean to be human? This is a frightening question these days. Wouldn’t it be easier to stay on the surface of things and medicate ourselves rather than deal with stimulation, titillation or unpredictability in relationships; with whatever it is we do that allows the present reality to be produced over and over…
Do you sometimes have trouble seeing how your behavior impacts others? Do you rage at your partner and after you calm down apologize and brush it off by saying, “That was my alcoholic/addict behavior?” Do you have trouble communicating your fears, disappointments and desires to your partner? Do you obsess about your ex-partner’s and your…
The relational paradigm is a shift in thinking. It shifts our perspective from seeing a world made up of things, to seeing a world that is open and made up primarily of relationships. It tells us that a deeper level of reality exist beyond what we can articulate. A place where everything is connected to…
It is ugly! It hurts; it’s toxic; it’s destructive. It threatens our joy and it gets in the way of us deeply connecting with others. When I was gripped by it, I wanted to die because it made me feel that I wasn’t good enough. So for years I was engulfed by it. Men walk…
The purpose of romantic love is to bond us with another so that we begin to experience the inevitable tension of the power struggle … and stay committed to the process of healing and growth. A relationship that is going through a power struggle is, in a sense, like a house divided against itself. It…
There is almost no bigger challenge in recovery than being married or in a committed relationship. I say this having worked in the field of mental health and addiction recovery for many years. During that time I have come across hundreds of recovering addicts and non-alcoholics who have struggled to maintain a loving relationship. From…