Is the passion fading in your relationship? This Valentine’s Day, reignite your bond and reconnect deeply with your partner during our life-changing Getting the Love You Want weekend workshop! In just 2 days, this intensive couples retreat will guide you through transformative practices to: – Uncover each other’s emotional needs and rekindle feelings of warmth…
When a Black client walks through the door of a therapist’s office, they do not come alone. Along with them come the spirits and stories of their ancestry, eager to be heard, understood, and honored. The therapist must make space to welcome the traumas of slavery – the severing of tribes, languages, and customs; the…
When someone gives an ultimatum in the relational context it is a demand that one person makes to another for that person to “do something” or “not do something.” An ultimatum has a consequence that is implied. When we make demands of our partners, they almost always fail. It is an attempt to try and…
In a life filled with visible and invisible struggles, the last place a person wants to exert great effort is—at home. Ironically, if a person does put forth time and energy into his or her home life and marriage, that person can become a safe haven from the inequities, racial harms and pains experienced in the…
What does it mean to be human? This is a frightening question these days. Wouldn’t it be easier to stay on the surface of things and medicate ourselves rather than deal with stimulation, titillation or unpredictability in relationships; with whatever it is we do that allows the present reality to be produced over and over…
Do you sometimes have trouble seeing how your behavior impacts others? Do you rage at your partner and after you calm down apologize and brush it off by saying, “That was my alcoholic/addict behavior?” Do you have trouble communicating your fears, disappointments and desires to your partner? Do you obsess about your ex-partner’s and your…
The relational paradigm is a shift in thinking. It shifts our perspective from seeing a world made up of things, to seeing a world that is open and made up primarily of relationships. It tells us that a deeper level of reality exist beyond what we can articulate. A place where everything is connected to…
It is ugly! It hurts; it’s toxic; it’s destructive. It threatens our joy and it gets in the way of us deeply connecting with others. When I was gripped by it, I wanted to die because it made me feel that I wasn’t good enough. So for years I was engulfed by it. Men walk…
We all come into relationships with two opposing fears: the fear of being abandoned, and the fear of getting too close or intimacy. These fears will get triggered when our relationship becomes more involved or we make a commitment. The closer and more intimate we become, the higher the stakes. We not only become afraid…