Shame, The Presidency and Healing Our AmericaJuly 5, 2017
Emotional Sobriety and Relationships: The Elephant in the Living RoomJuly 20, 2017
The relational paradigm is a shift in thinking. It shifts our perspective from seeing a world made up of things, to seeing a world that is open and made up primarily of relationships.
It tells us that a deeper level of reality exist beyond what we can articulate. A place where everything is connected to everything.
Once we begin to understand this we begin to see a world that is not fixed and that we live in a world of possibilities.
Attributes of Relational Thinking
- Knowing that your sacred job is to hold the relational space in such a way that the essence of the “Other person” sitting across from you can emerge.
- Listening the “Other person” into speaking, staying in the field, with an open heart and welcoming soul.
- Knowing the validity and the equity of the “Other person’s” reality.
- Recognizing the higher purpose of the conversation; the respect for “right” relationship, where both people can exist, and stay engaged, and curious, and honoring.
- Having the faith that through deepening connection, a “third option” unfolds that transcends the tension of polarities, and ignites the spirits.
- Letting go of the attachment to content and outcome, and sitting in the “not knowing”, without assumptions of what is right, or assumptions of who the “Other” is.
- Becoming more and more conscious of the impact of words and actions on the “Other person”, so that only that which enhance connection is put into the relational space.
- Taking full responsibility for our own contribution to the “nightmare”, by owning our projections with humility, and fostering compassion and tenderness.
- Remembering the 5 to 1 ratio of positives to negatives for a thriving relationship.
- Recognizing conflict as a great natural resource, and harnessing the power of conflict in the service of Relational Maturity