Imago Relationship Theory helps to clarify what happens when we fall in- and- out of love and explores a deeper understanding of the nature of conflict. Conflict is inevitable in relationships. Imago offers insights on how couples can grow together in a creative, enlightening, and healing way for a more loving, passionate, safe, fun-filled and fulfilling relationship. Imago also offers more: a sense of possibility and a way to deepen loving, intimate relationship.
Some of the concepts of Imago include:
- Overcoming Reactivity – Imago therapists and educators sometimes define couplehood as “making a lifetime commitment to someone with whom you are perfectly and specifically incompatible and then behaving naturally!” Differences are often the basis of attraction. They establish a possibility of growth, which can be achieved through intentionality: overcoming our old survival brain reactive patterns and reactive postures.
- The Space Between – Imago theory is guided by the Relational Paradigm, which embraces two separate and unique individuals while honoring the connection of the relationship. There are two distinctive people “You” and “Me”and then there is the “You-Me” or as theologian Martin Buber defined it, the I-Thou.” This third entity, “the Space Between,” becomes the focal point for partners, i.e., how they contribute to this sacred relational space. The concept of Space Between moves two people from struggling against each other and struggling to put themselves at the center of the relationship to the “Relationship as Center.”
- Therapist as Facilitators – The role of Imago therapists is to skillfully guide a couple down the road to a progressively conscious relationship. They are facilitators in the healing and growth process.
- Partners as Healer – By listening to each other’s cues and needs, partners become motivated to stretch into specific behaviors which facilitate growth and healing of past hurts.
- There is a Purpose to Attraction – There are wonderful unconscious forces contributing to romantic attraction. The main purpose of romance of to reunite us with someone who meets specific criteria to help advance or begin the journey to wholeness and healing.
- There is a Purpose to Conflict – Conflict is a call for growth and a cry for healing. Through empathic dialogue, rather than negotiating or bargaining, Imago teaches us to stretch safely beyond our comfort zones in the service of self, of the partner and of the relationship.