Relational couples therapy is different from traditional couples therapy in which the couple talks to a therapist who just listens, nods, makes interpretations and gives advice. Relational therapy is dialogical. Both the therapist and the couple contribute to the process.

In relational couples therapy it's nearly impossible to begin changing the dynamics if the energy between you and your partner feels toxic and emotionally unsafe. Therefore, I assist partners in how to "respond to" and "be responsive" in a way that feels genuine and brings you close. When in reactive mode, verbal statements that could theoretically move the two of you in a more peaceful direction are drowned out in the face of the wounded partner's need to hang on to the injury he or she feels to his or her dignity. In the midst of battle, the continued experience of the affront, i.e., feeling unheard, unseen, misunderstood, and unappreciated leads to rage. This is the relational arena: what you do with each other moment to moment all day long. Call for an initial consultation.