Marriage Intensive Sessions

Couples-Intensive1 I offer couples several options for healing, growing, repairing, enhancing, and sustaining their marriage and relationships.  First, is the couples private intensives will change your life, your family and relationship marriage forever … it’s just that simple.  After couples attend the 2-hour initial consultation, 90% of couples opt to continue the process in a private extended session.  These sessions are designed and customized for one couple. Couples receive my attention, expertise and mastery of skills. The core of the intensive session focuses on redirecting crummy interactions into loving, non-defensive moments of connection, which have the power to reverse the course of a difficult interactions by going right into the heart of “feeling connected.”

The poet Rumi once said, “Out beyond ideas of right thinking and out beyond ideas of wrong thinking I will meet you there.” So, ideally these extended sessions give us time move us into above polarities and into new field of being; a field beyond the impasses, criticisms, etc., and I coach partners who are having difficulties to drop down to a deeper level of internal sensing and share with their beloved when they are experiencing and feeling … usually this defuses tension considerably particularly if both partners share and both feel felt by the other. Diffusing this tension can lead to a warm, tender feelings that peace is being restored, that their partner is no longer upset or feel distant from them, that at last their previous reactivity, poor character choices, silence, outbursts, etc., makes some sense to them. Partners process conflicts and feel the special closeness that can emerge from their genuine, heartfelt and sincere sharing.

Intensive sessions help partners:

  • Become more alert to what is going on in their emotional world, as opposed to operating almost exclusively from their minds
  • Learn the difference between defenses, numbing and vulnerability
  • Learn how to be responsive and respond to each other in a way that is genuine
  • Understand what really causes blow-ups, shutting down, and vicious cycles (it’s 
not what you thought it was).
  • Connection with your partner in a way that does not get compromised by hidden resentments or unfinished business
  • Learn how to help your partner calm down and listen to you even when s/he is 
  • Know how to work with your own unfinished emotional business and past wounds in a way that promotes greater self-love,healing and self-esteem
  • Start rewiring your brain (neuroplasticity) so that you are less apt to get triggered
  • Have a well-practiced formula for making up and restoring the connection after a fight or misunderstanding in a way that deepens your shared love, trust, and sense of safety.

Watch a testimonial from couple following their 2-day private intensive:

Who attends private intensive sessions?

  • Couples in Crisis
  • Couples undecided about staying together
  • Couples on the brink of divorce (in a make or break it situation)
  • Couples with unsuccessful experiences with traditional couples therapy especially multiple attempts or who don’t have time to juggle weekly couples therapy.
  • Couples who feel stuck and stagnant in their relationship and want to renew the intimacy with their partner
  • Disconnected couples – significant to severe disconnection. Loss of intimacy (including sexual intimacy)
  • Couples who want to deconstruct the most common negative cycle that couples encounter
  • Couples who want to move their relationship to the next level
  • Couples who want to learn a new way to understand how to do relationships

How are intensive couples relational therapy different from traditional couples therapy?

There are three main differences:

  1. Format – the format is short and intensive and consists of a short talks, a little writing for integrating the process coaching partners through experiential exercises designed to dissolve past conflicts at the root and heal individual issues.
  2. Depth – Because we have more time we get underneath the defensive, and self-protection, which perpetuate the cycles of defense and trauma.
  3. The pace and momentum – The pace is slow because we are making the shift from a “thought-based” mental focus to a heart-based “felt-sense” emotional climate where you learn how let down your defenses, open up your heart, make it safe for your partner to reach for you and be receptive when your partner reaches for you. Letting down your defensive postures takes time and the creation of a safe atmosphere.

We meet in one of five formats:

  1. 1/2 Day Intensive – 4-Hour Session
  2. 2-Day Intensive – 10:00am – 6:30pm. Great for Couples with scheduling issues.
  3. 1-Day Full Day Intensive – 10:00 – 6:30pm
  4. The In-home Intensive in your house – Great for couples where privacy is a major issue.
  5. Weekly couples sessions are 90 minutes to 2-hours.

For more information or to schedule an intensive, or attend a workshop call Paula Smith @ 401-782-7899 or email me at: