Welcome to Imago Relationship Therapy!
Imago Relationship therapy founded by Dr. Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., is based in the best-selling book, “Getting the Love You Want.” Dr. Hendrix was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times and #2 of Oprah’s Top Aha moments.
The Imago Therapist as Practitioner
The top of my agenda is setting up the right kind of atmosphere that allows partners to engage in true dialogue probably for the first time in their relationship. This special atmosphere is characterized as “safe” or “holding” and dialogical environment.
- Walk the talk. Beyond the actual therapy skills needed to be effective, Imago therapists must work on themselves to achieve our own growth toward a high level of consciousness. I must be conscious so I can help others become conscious. Imago therapists acknowledge that we unconsciously and unintentionally affect the dynamics in the therapeutic office, therefore I make it a point of being a real person, sharing when appropriate from my own journey toward health, wholeness, intimacy.
- Engage in conjoint therapy only. The individual is a myth. It’s the world of win/lose. It’s about who’s right and who’s wrong? Who cares! The question is: “How are we as a team going to approach the challenges you are dealing with in a way that works for both of you?” I do this by shifting from the rugged individualistic thinking from relational thinking. The “relationship” is the therapy. I do not see partners separately. The relational approach prevents the deleterious effect of uneven growth and dangers of triangulation, both of which interfere with the quality of connection, harmony and repair.
- Reframes problems as symptoms of disharmony and ruptured connection. Disconnection sickens us. Connection restores us. I teach you how to think “relationally” which means you will be doing something pretty revolutionary, something that requires changing some fundamental parts of your identity, even changing who you thought you were to begin with. You learn how to reconnect to yourself first, your feelings, needs, desires and then you learn the skills of a sophisticated and practical relationship technology to move past old maladaptive behaviors, repetitive fighting, and revolving not much of anything.
- Views “incompatibility” as the grounds for marriage. Many programs focus on incompatibilities as the problem and often recommend searching for a compatible partner or divorcing the one they have, I see incompatibility as the grounds for a great relationship. Simply put, opposites attract, and when differences are valued rather than annihilated, opposites create a dynamic relationship that optimizes potential.
These are fundamental ideological shifts driven by the relational paradigm and they make Imago therapy unique from traditional couple therapy approaches. Imago therapy requires that I develop the same high level of relational consciousness and interpersonal awareness that my clients are learning to use. This implies that as an Imago practitioner, my knowledge and skills although important are not as important as the quality with which I use them.