I knew we needed it. I’d even been the one to suggest it over the years when arguments festered for too long and drained us both. But when the day came and we entered our therapist’s office, I questioned if I was truly ready to rip off the bandaids I’d so carefully placed on old…
Emotional abandonment is one of the silent killers of relationships. Its anthem is an ice cold, white noise that is ultimately impossible to compartmentalize. Its color is the darkness of a deep hole. Its smell one of a deserted coal mine. A partner can provide money for rent/mortgage, gifts for Valentine’s, put you on their…
I have worked with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) throughout my professional career as a therapist and I am an Adult Child. Today, I want to offer adult children and those who love them a positive message … a message of hope. Adult children are typically sensitive folks, sensitive to the feelings of others, loyal, humble…
After the initial parabola of passion, infidelity can be a crashing into a particular kind of hell. A roller-coaster ride that burns our heart. Infidelity scalds us with guilt and grief in the after-shock of transcendent bliss. In virtually every marriage code in virtually every society, infidelity is unequivocally prohibited. In a lot of places…
I believe your relationship can thrive! I believe your relationship can be what you want it to be. Fifty percent of our challenges in relationships are simply due to a lack of skills. This is especially true if we’ve never seen a competent, successful relationship. Have you? Most of us probably didn’t learn those skills in…
Imago relationship therapy (Imago is the Latin word for Image) is a cutting edge, transformational, relational model that helps couples restore connection, rediscover aliveness and joy and amplify the positive rather than the difficulties. Imago also teaches couples how to be empathetic and vulnerable. Oh … no, the “V” word. Unfortunately culture misguides us into thinking…
If you are in a love relationship, prepare for the hard truth: at some point the honeymoon … those “in love” feelings will fade away. This because “Romantic” love usually does not last forever. But creating a conscious relationship can. Love relationships are not indestructible. I know because I’ve killed many. We cannot kill a…
“I think it is better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than to lose that someone you love with useless pride.” ~John Ruskin When reflecting back, I have seen how often I evoked painful emotions as I sought comfort and solitude in the strange reward of self satisfaction and selfishness, born out…
Many of us struggle with Validation and/or Validating others because we have a “Fear of Difference.” The fear comes from: The belief that there is a RIGHT way of seeing, describing, understanding, and valuing everything – i.e what is going on. The limited capacity to be aware that others are different, or to respect, appreciate, or…