One of the biggest problems we encounter in relationships involves more than our minds. People tend to think with their feelings and decisions are made from this stance. When people are searching for a resolution to confusion, they will do or say almost anything—even if it is not rational. Therapy provides a window in learning…
I was listening to a news program the other day and was shocked by how many billions of dollars we spend on war. Then I became very curious. I wondered: how much do we spend on building peace? Our relationships are getting worse because we are more invested in fighting each other and less invested in building peace…
I knew we needed it. I’d even been the one to suggest it over the years when arguments festered for too long and drained us both. But when the day came and we entered our therapist’s office, I questioned if I was truly ready to rip off the bandaids I’d so carefully placed on old…
Love is not a prison. It’s not butterflies in your stomach. That’s just chemistry. Love isn’t blind; it sees but chooses not to make a fuss. Love isn’t yesterday’s offenses brought forward to support today’s argument. It doesn’t slam doors or smash things. Call insanity by its name lest it be mistaken for something else.…
Thomas Merton once wrote, “Love is, in fact, an intensification of life, a completeness, a fullness, a wholeness of life.” We use the word “love” so often these days. In many ways, it has become a tongue-in-cheek expression of endearment rather than a genuine characteristic of a healthy society. This is not the case for every one…
I want to thank you—for all the support and belief you’ve shown me this year. It has meant the world to me and I deeply appreciate you. I am feeling extraordinarily grateful to be able to share my thoughts, fears, successes, confusion and other exciting experiences with you. It’s been a hard year! We’ve seen hearts…
Thich Nhat Hahn wrote, “Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.” In the conundrum of being human…
We live in a culture that is skeptical and talks cynically about love relationships as if it can be compartmentalized into a neat and unchanging … static life. Best-selling books with titles like, “Getting the Love You Want,” mirror a fast-food culture where love and relationships are commodities that can be ordered, gotten, or kept. We use…
Infidelity happens for plenty of reasons. None of them good. It happens because there’s a moment when the opportunity is wide open and full of aliveness and temptation, it’s exciting, it’s there and it acts like it can keep a secret; and as though it won’t do any damage at all. One small, stupid, opportunistic…