Infidelity happens for plenty of reasons. None of them good ones. It happens because of 1. ego or 2. stupidity or 3. disconnection. Or because of 4. smugness, 5. ignorance, 6. a widening ache, 7. an emptiness or 8. the need to know what else is there. Infidelity happens because of 9. arrogance, 10. a lack…
I knew we needed it. I’d even been the one to suggest it over the years when arguments festered for too long and drained us both. But when the day came and we entered our therapist’s office, I questioned if I was truly ready to rip off the bandaids I’d so carefully placed on old…
I think we look at love all wrong! Especially when we get hurt. We blame love. But love doesn’t hurt us. Someone who doesn’t know how to love hurt us, and we get confused between the two. I also think that after we’ve been hurt by something that what wasn’t love we build cages around…
Love is not a prison. It’s not butterflies in your stomach. That’s just chemistry. Love isn’t blind; it sees but chooses not to make a fuss. Love isn’t yesterday’s offenses brought forward to support today’s argument. It doesn’t slam doors or smash things. Call insanity by its name lest it be mistaken for something else.…
Emotional abandonment is one of the silent killers of relationships. Its anthem is an ice cold, white noise that is ultimately impossible to compartmentalize. Its color is the darkness of a deep hole. Its smell one of a deserted coal mine. A partner can provide money for rent/mortgage, gifts for Valentine’s, put you on their…
Thomas Merton once wrote, “Love is, in fact, an intensification of life, a completeness, a fullness, a wholeness of life.” We use the word “love” so often these days. In many ways, it has become a tongue-in-cheek expression of endearment rather than a genuine characteristic of a healthy society. This is not the case for every one…
Thich Nhat Hahn wrote, “Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.” In the conundrum of being human…
After the initial parabola of passion, infidelity can be a crashing into a particular kind of hell. A roller-coaster ride that burns our heart. Infidelity scalds us with guilt and grief in the after-shock of transcendent bliss. In virtually every marriage code in virtually every society, infidelity is unequivocally prohibited. In a lot of places…
I am swinging to the other side of the relationship pendulum in this article because I think it’s important to talk about how we are being seduced into believing that our holy dance is a dance of Fear. Well, it’s not. However, there are impulses and evil forces in contemporary society promoting separations rather than…