I think we look at love all wrong!
Especially when we get hurt. We blame love.
But love doesn’t hurt us.
Someone who doesn’t know how to love hurt us, and we get confused between the two.
I also think that after we’ve been hurt by something that what wasn’t love we build cages around our hearts, that block love from ever coming in and going out and we get confused about this too.
Love is who we are. Love is one of the most beautiful expressions in life. But when relationships end—we lie, cheat, or leave … whatever happens — it hurts and we blame love.
Then bitterness sets in and we look at the world differently—cynically, skeptically. Our rose colored glasses have been shattered and we see all the colors that we were missing because we truly romanticize the people we love and adore.
We say, “I can’t fall in love again because I don’t want to get hurt.”
This a disservice we are doing to ourselves. Love has never failed us and it won’t fail us. And there is no reason to swear off love because people have loved us in the ways that felt wrong to us.
We will be reminded of the pain we endured and the pain we continue to hold onto. We will remember the experiences that turn our hearts bitter—that create hatred in our hearts .
Yet, I don’t think it’s good practice to allow a bad experience with love to poison our heart, mind and soul—to allow heartbreak the gratitude of dimming who we are.
Some people come into our lives solely for the purpose of teaching us a lesson instead of showing us love.
Thank them; because these folks are just as valuable as the ones who love us—they help us grow stronger and realistic. It’s life-giving to keep our hearts open instead of closed.
It is also important to accept our feelings—hurt, sadness, grief, anger — and really examine these feelings.
Not wallow, ruminate, lay on the floor or stay in bed helpless, but to look at the situation realistically, and instead of connecting the person to love being painful, use the experience to come to terms with the fact that that was not the kind of heart you wanted to love you.
There is so much to be gained without destroying the beauty of what love is really all about. Love never hurts, but the absence of love does .
Click here to learn how to approach love with care, intention, authenticity, fun consciousness at my upcoming “Getting the Love You Want” Imago Couples Weekend Workshop.
In love and gratitude,
Paula
