I was listening to a news program the other day and was shocked by how many billions of dollars we spend on war. Then I became very curious. I wondered: how much do we spend on building peace? Our relationships are getting worse because we are more invested in fighting each other and less invested in building peace…
I think we look at love all wrong! Especially when we get hurt. We blame love. But love doesn’t hurt us. Someone who doesn’t know how to love hurt us, and we get confused between the two. I also think that after we’ve been hurt by something that what wasn’t love we build cages around…
Love is not a prison. It’s not butterflies in your stomach. That’s just chemistry. Love isn’t blind; it sees but chooses not to make a fuss. Love isn’t yesterday’s offenses brought forward to support today’s argument. It doesn’t slam doors or smash things. Call insanity by its name lest it be mistaken for something else.…
Emotional abandonment is one of the silent killers of relationships. Its anthem is an ice cold, white noise that is ultimately impossible to compartmentalize. Its color is the darkness of a deep hole. Its smell one of a deserted coal mine. A partner can provide money for rent/mortgage, gifts for Valentine’s, put you on their…
If you are in a love relationship, prepare for the hard truth: at some point the honeymoon … those “in love” feelings will fade away. This because “Romantic” love usually does not last forever. But creating a conscious relationship can. Love relationships are not indestructible. I know because I’ve killed many. We cannot kill a…
Many adult survivors of incest/sexual abuse have undergone therapy, perhaps joined support groups and even confronted the perpetrator(s). No matter how much healing we do, it seems that we are never truly healed and the effects of what happened are so deeply embedded in us that they become a part of our core identity. We…
Many of us struggle with Validation and/or Validating others because we have a “Fear of Difference.” The fear comes from: The belief that there is a RIGHT way of seeing, describing, understanding, and valuing everything – i.e what is going on. The limited capacity to be aware that others are different, or to respect, appreciate, or…
Do you know what keeps conflict and the power struggle in place? Yep! Criticism. Criticism kills love. Criticism can kill a marriage. There is no such thing as constructive criticism in intimate relationships. When we criticize others we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. When we criticize our partner we freeze them in the very…
I have been in a serious relationship with a girl for over two years now. Last year I went overseas for a few months by myself to work. While I was there she couldn’t handle the loneliness and she met another guy. I was devastated when I found out I went home right way. There…