Yael and I are thinking of everyone during this time of uncertainty, anxiety, and fear about the outcome of the upcoming election. It is our hope that you take comfort in the thought that we have each done what we can to voice our choice with dignity and integrity–phone banking, donating, speaking to friends and family, participating in canvassing, writing postcards, posting online, blogging or going to rallies. Some of us voted early and some will vote tomorrow. We have done what we can. Now comes the hardest part—waiting and accepting. For many of us there is fear in the waiting, a collective holding of breath, a quiet frozen quality in the atmosphere that attempts to mask the disquiet and dis-ease rumbling underneath. There’s a feeling that accidentally bumping into someone in the supermarket might ignite the kindling of rage just waiting to catch spark beneath the surface. The air is tense and fraught with sinister imaginings. The incessant media speculation and dark predictions only heighten this emotionally charged atmosphere.And yet, we must wait. At first, many of us resist accepting what we cannot change – we bargain, deny, rage against reality. We cling to how we believe things “should” be, rather than embracing what is. While we cannot control the election’s outcome, we have tremendous power over something crucial: how we behave and how we treat each other.
Acceptance is not passive surrender – it is acknowledging truth while maintaining our dignity and values. The path to acceptance often winds through grief, anger, and disappointment before reaching a place of clear-eyed recognition. Acceptance asks us to be bigger than our immediate reactions while honoring that our struggles with acceptance are deeply human.
Despite the crushing levels of hatred and vitriol permeating the news, social media, workplaces and our living rooms, we can choose a different path. Our mission must be to restore respect, dignity and empathy to its central place in our relational discourse.
“The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture about to fall into barbarism.”
~Hannah Arendt
Qualities such as respect, dignity and empathy bring out the best in us – especially during times when we must come together and accept collective decisions. Whatever the outcome, our shared work of strengthening ourselves, relationships and communities continues after the ballots are counted.
As we look toward the holidays, we must confront difficult questions: Who will gather at our Thanksgiving tables? What conversations await us there? Who have we cut off from and cut out of our life because of political divisions? These fractures in our relationships did not appear overnight, and they will not heal quickly.
In our clinical practice, we have witnessed unprecedented levels of anxiety, trauma, emotional distress, and terror affecting individuals, couples, and families. The damage runs deep, reminiscent of post-disaster zones. I am reminded of returning to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina – a city transformed into an apocalyptic landscape, devoid of birds and insects, littered with collapsed buildings and lingering death. The overwhelming question then, as now, was, “Where in the world do we begin?”
 While this political disaster leaves no physical rubble (hopefully), its aftermath is equally devastating: hatred, othering, lies, threats, violent rhetoric—all the elements that destroy trust, empathy, and compassion in relationships. The challenge ahead lies in reclaiming these essential human qualities in the wake of such division.
How do we reclaim these essential qualities and our trust in humanity in the wake of this political landscape?
Regardless of the outcome of this election, some will feel relief while others face terror. The path forward lies in acceptance—not resignation, but the active choice to remain hopeful, keep love alive, and restore respect to both public and private discourse. Life will continue after the results are known, and we will need all our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual resources to face whatever lies ahead and rebuild what has been broken.
In times of deep division, our greatest strength lies in our capacity to choose connection over conflict, understanding over judgment, and love over fear. The road ahead may be challenging, but we walk it together.
What steps can we take together to rebuild trust and empathy?
Moving forward requires us to:
- Practice radical acceptance
- Maintain hope amid uncertainty
- Choose love over division
- Rebuild trust gradually
- Foster compassion for all
- Focus on healing relationships
- Create safe spaces for dialogue
With radical hope and gratitude,
Dr. Paula
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