Becoming conscious of your racial identity is a process that cannot be explored in darkness and isolation. In our experience, the process of challenging the myths of white superiority (whiteness) and Black inferiority (Blackness) has tremendous healing effects and the potential to create social equality. A few weeks ago, Paula and I facilitated our first in-person Getting the…
In a life filled with visible and invisible struggles, the last place a person wants to exert great effort is—at home. Ironically, if a person does put forth time and energy into his or her home life and marriage, that person can become a safe haven from the inequities, racial harms and pains experienced in the…
I have worked with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) throughout my professional career as a therapist and I am an Adult Child. Today, I want to offer adult children and those who love them a positive message … a message of hope. Adult children are typically sensitive folks, sensitive to the feelings of others, loyal, humble…
I’ve found myself feeling disturbed over the past week watching the outpouring of outrage about the thousands of immigrant children being separated from their parents at the border from Mexico to the US. And it’s not because the practice isn’t heartbreakingly painful and against all of the values I hold dear and want my country…
We are all born with the core energy of joyful aliveness with all our brain circuits in place to execute functions such as seeing, listening, talking and movement. There are 4 developmental phases where the brain is optimally prepared to take on certain tasks. There is an optimal window period to achieve these tasks. As…
Many of us struggle with Validation and/or Validating others because we have a “Fear of Difference.” The fear comes from: The belief that there is a RIGHT way of seeing, describing, understanding, and valuing everything – i.e what is going on. The limited capacity to be aware that others are different, or to respect, appreciate, or…
Do you know what keeps conflict and the power struggle in place? Yep! Criticism. Criticism kills love. Criticism can kill a marriage. There is no such thing as constructive criticism in intimate relationships. When we criticize others we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. When we criticize our partner we freeze them in the very…
When we have problems small or big he runs from talking about them and says it’s not working for him and tries to leave me. Then as we talk more I hear about the old problems and he blames that on why we have any problems, which have nothing to do with the subject we…
