I’ve been emailing back and forth with a woman who is trying to get emotionally closer to her boyfriend, but in a way that always results in their arguing.
Here’s the deal:
It’s so HARD to get close to someone when you don’t understand how to problem-solve through conflict.
Don’t get mad at me… Just hear me out.
I told her that she was chronically reinforcing a thinking process that was keeping her stuck in her resistance.
So open up and give me a chance to show you here-
Back to the woman I’ve been emailing.
This woman is committed and is working hard on her issues because she loves her boyfriend and wants to be a supportive girlfriend.
Here’s the sad part!
She is lacking one of the fundamental Skills for Loving, “relational thinking,” meaning, her individual personal growth work got her this far, into a relationship that she wants to keep & deepen, but she hasn’t yet learned that, in order to get closer to her boyfriend, she will need to make it safe for him.
You probably think that one of them needs to go do more work on themselves in order to avoid these kinds of arguments.
NO, THAT WON’T WORK!
*************FREE LIVE TRAINING************
Skills for Loving II
Step by step plan to help you grow closer in your love relationship.
MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!!!!
THURSDAY APRIL 17, 2014 @ 12:00n EST / 9:00am PST
FRIDAY, APRIL 18, 2014 @ 6:00p EST / 3:00 PST
Think “skills for loving” and get closer!
Sincerely,
Paula Smith MDiv., MFT
Relationship Expert
Love Coach
