I am currently seeing CE and NR. CE lives near me and NR lives 400 mines way. I met NR online last summer, and we chatted. Just before I started dating CE, I had made a comment to NR that if she lived close to me that I’d date her. After CE and I had dated for several weeks, NR told me that she wanted to meet me, and if things went well, she’d move here for me. I was in shock.
I met NR and was blown away, she spent a weekend with me and we’re planning to spend a week together in a few months. But recently CE told me she wanted a relationship, and I’m just not as attracted to CE as I am to NR, although realistically NR may never move here. If NR moved here tomorrow, I’d date her exclusively.
Should I take the chance that NR may move here? She wanted to wait until after her degree, which is almost 2 years from now. I’d get to see her once a month or once every other month when she flies or drives out, and I will not move there because of my daughter.
The more I talk with NR on the phone, the more I fall in love with her. I could theoretically have a relationship with NR, but don’t think it would be as fulfilling as one with CE. Right now I’m not falling in love with CE, my feelings for her are simply friendship with benefits. I’ve told her my doubts about have a relationship with her, and she said she’d work on them.
The funny thing about it is CE and NR were born within 48 hours of each other, are both Aquarius but born late, so technically they are Capricorns,and were born 50miles of each other, so the zodiac is the same for both. I don’t normally follow zodiac for advice, but it’s a weird coincidence.
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It is a weird coincidence and I don’t have a clue what it tells. 50 miles makes all the difference?
Hmmmm sounds like in your case 400 miles makes all the difference.
There is no answer to a mystery.
What I would recommend is that you follow your heart on this one. My second piece of advice would be to keep your love life simple and clear. Love grows in the soil of clarity, authenticity and honesty. If you were to clearly disclose to CE what you have stated to me, an absolute stranger, this would be an example of you living a life with simplicity and clarity. If, however, you are holding some info back because you are worried about how she might react to it, you are beginning to build up a wall there– perhaps with both of them — and that will ultimately erode the free flow of love you can share with either of them.
Lies — which include withheld information (the sin of omission) — are like adding bad chemicals to the soil of relationships. Things tend not to grow in such soil. It burdens you with both too much complexity. A split heart. A split life. Been there done that, and it doesn’t work. But you find out …
So my advice is to make a choice of which one to go with — and go with that choice.
Your mind is telling you a lot of conflictual information and it making a List A v.s. List B kind of thing. You mind is probably not the most reliable source of self-advice on this thing. SO as much as possible, let your thoughts on the matter go.
Your fears are telling you a lot of information about possible downsides of taking a bigger risk rather than going with the more certain thing. However, I gotta tell you that your fears are also coming from your mind. So you know my opinion on the reliability of that information.
Fact is, love is risk. It’s really that simple. Even if you were focused on just one relationship, at some point a sense of fear will come up. This is normal, natural and unfortunately, most people freeze and fail to move toward the fear. Moving toward the fear is kinda a sign that you are moving toward something that really matters. Perhaps fear is not a bad sign. Maybe it reads: “This is the way to what truly matters.”
Sure, you can fail, be abandoned, end up in flames and pain. But maybe not. Maybe you end up getting the love you truly want.
It’s your call. Safety (at least you think so) or Fear. Or both .. maybe (probably not for long –women have a 6th sense about another woman in your life). I recommend you really listen to your heart’s deepest wishes (isn’t it telling you already?) and take the biggest risk.
