There will always be something happening around us. We will encounter situations in life that are stressful, i.e., work, travel, children, finances, shocking election results, illness and yes, relationships. Life creates these waves on the surface, but within us there is a place that is intact, calm, peaceful and whole. It’s the place where we have a sense that “all is well.”
I was working with a couple Saturday and the husband was expressing his upset with something his wife had done. He expressed himself with openness and clarity on the surface. When he finished, I sensed he was holding something back. I wasn’t sure what it was, because what I observed was something with his body language.
93% of communication is body language and only 7% is about the actual words. Usually when we communicate we focus on the 7% and ignore the 93%.
One of the ways I teach couples how to communicate effectively is by helping them become conscious of the 93%.
I also teach them how to communicate from their “essence.” Our “essence” is the place within all of us where the energy is free flowing and creative. When we relate to each other essence to essence, there is a growing openness, truth, vulnerability, authenticity and integrity. All is aligned.
We feel nourished and nurtured by the experience of speaking from this place and having it deeply heard. Relating from our essence is an experience unlike the ones we have when we are speaking from our survival and defensiveness. During those times, we become reactive, exasperated, drained, and vicious. We can never say enough, fast enough and hurtful enough. Click here to continue reading
