Attachment may indeed be the linchpin of relationships. With couples and marriage therapy it quickly becomes evident how securely attached the individuals are and how the relationship operates follows from that. As humans, our knowledge and experience of relationships and security of attachment is determined by and large through our early experiences with our parents…
I told a lie. I told it multiple times. I told it over and over. I told it ten times, one hundred times. If I told it once, I told it a thousand times. I must have said it a million times. I told it infinity times infinity. I told a fib. I told a…
Have you ever participated in water cooler chat? Standing at the water cooler a woman ask her male coworker, “So, do you actually enjoy being married?” The man replied “I’m not sure what you mean.” She sighed and said “Well, a ton of people I know get excited about their wedding. Then they get married,…
Here are four questions to ask yourself: Does your partner communicate? Have capacity? Is there chemistry and small talk in the relationship? Does your partner have self-awareness and … a job? (Less about the job and more about ambition/passion and the ability to build something). Yes, yes, yes, but you’ve heard all these before. There…
Let’s be real. Let’s be real. Let’s be real. It is clear that our current paradigm of relationships is not working. We are masking our feelings, emotions and desires and attacking one another as a way to cope with our fears and covering up feelings of vulnerability. For some of us the break-down of the current…
Most people don’t know much about twelve-step programs. However, I have intimate knowledge and experience with them. While they’re designed to help people recover from alcoholism and substance abuse, they also encourage those who are not recovering from addiction to take an honest look at themselves by practicing spirituality and humility by placing “self” within…
Infidelity happens for plenty of reasons. None of them good ones. It happens because of 1. ego or 2. stupidity or 3. disconnection. Or because of 4. smugness, 5. ignorance, 6. a widening ache, 7. an emptiness or 8. the need to know what else is there. Infidelity happens because of 9. arrogance, 10. a lack…
I knew we needed it. I’d even been the one to suggest it over the years when arguments festered for too long and drained us both. But when the day came and we entered our therapist’s office, I questioned if I was truly ready to rip off the bandaids I’d so carefully placed on old…
I think we look at love all wrong! Especially when we get hurt. We blame love. But love doesn’t hurt us. Someone who doesn’t know how to love hurt us, and we get confused between the two. I also think that after we’ve been hurt by something that what wasn’t love we build cages around…