When Paula first interviewed Hedy for the “Loving Out Loud” summit almost two years ago, something crystallized inside her soul. There was a feeling of recognition, as if she was hearing her own truth spoken by another human being. This is a rare gift. Paula has the kind of raw courage and passion that will…
Often, words don’t truly describe things nearly as well as they describe our relationship to them. This is where misunderstanding and confusion come from. In our haste to communicate, we hear the words, but ignore the heart of what is being said. We stop at the words when, in fact, real listening happens in the…
There is something utterly romantic about Christmastime, flickering fireplaces, lights and kissing under the mistletoe. It feels like the world slows down for a while and we are reminded that the best gifts are not always found under the tree, but are standing right in front of us with open and welcoming arms. Ten years…
What does it mean to say YES to a life of connectedness in relationships? I’ve noticed that a lot of online coaches want us to act FAST. The goal is to set up a “sense of fear and URGENCY,” so we sign up for programs FAST before we have a chance to really think about…
Like many of us I’ve wanted real, lasting, love. Like many of us, I hadn’t found these three simple words—real, lasting, love—easy to attain especially when I was single. If same-sex marriage had been legal thirty years ago, my partner (at the time) and I would have married in our twenties. Being young and in…
Married just over a year and already she felt the marriage slipping away. Now anxiety and suspicion was permeating a relationship that felt unbendable, let alone unbreakable. The solitary act of denying her sexual requests was uncomfortable, and it set her off something inside her like nothing she had ever imagined. A sexual request her…
Don’t waste your time worrying about what others think of your marriage/relationship. The truth is you’ll spend more energy imagining what others think of you than those folks will ever invest in themselves or their relationships. Let me ask you this: Is the love worth saving? Whenever you stretch yourself into taking bold new actions,…
I have been reflecting on the idea that we are in an era in which our relationships have moved beyond pure survival. We have climbed up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and our relationships are no longer just about procreation. Yes, children, marriage and family are important to us, but we have bigger dreams for our…
When couples first contact me, they often want to know how I am going to help them solve their problems in the relationship. It’s a reasonable question, because it reveals the couple’s sincere belief that their relationship is a problem to be fixed. This belief is, in and of itself, problematic and tends to reinforce…