What does it mean to say YES to a life of
connectedness in
relationships?
I’ve noticed that a lot
of online coaches want us
to act FAST. The goal is to
set up a “sense of fear and URGENCY,” so we sign up for programs
FAST before we have a chance to really think about it.
However, when we make decisions from fear and a sense of
URGENCY, we sometimes end up committing to situations and people
that don’t align with who we are. We do this especially in our
romantic relationships.
We meet someone, we’re impressed with their numbers, degrees,
and who they “appear to be”, and we make a commitment FAST.
Yep, I did this.
I committed to a coaching program FAST, and I got caught up in
who this coach appeared to be. But after a closer look, I realized that
she was a Fox and I was a Hedgehog. The philosopher Isaiah Berlin
uses this Greek parable to divide the world into two basic groups:
hedgehogs and foxes.
The Fox knows many things, but the Hedeghog knows ONE big
thing. The Fox pursues many ends and sees the world in all its
complexities. The Hedgehog simplifies a complex world into a single
organizing idea, a basic principle that unifies and guides everything.
What is emerging as I embrace my “Hedgehog concept” is that living
in connection requires a great BIG YES to life! And further, that there
is a distinction between “Coping/surviving in Isolation” and “Living in
Connection.” When we cope/survive in our relationships we inevitably
arrive at an IMPASSE, a wall, a gulf … a vortex that sucks out all
the energy.
But CONNECTION … feeling connected is about knowing that no
matter what we have done over the course of our lives, we deserve
full understanding and compassion, especially in the places where we
have struggled alone.
So here is where you get to choose:
