Merry Christmas Friends! Many times the way forward is to look back, to read and study the wisdom of prophetic leaders whose brilliance opens us to the limitless possibilities and potentialties that reside within and between us. On Christmas day nearly a half-century ago, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stood before his congregation at Ebenezer…
In the previous blog I began a conversation that addresses the complexity of the relational dynamics that lead to affairs, one that I believe is caring and compassionate for everybody involved. I do not condone infidelity, deception or betrayal of any flavor. Infidelity is painful and messy; however, as a culture, I think we…
Put yourself in this scenario: your wife leaves you alone in the room while she goes and takes a shower. You’re sitting there doing nothing until you notice it: her cell phone. It’s just sitting there innocently, right next to you. And she’s in the shower, so there’s no chance she’ll walk in. And you’ve…
It’s challenging to learn new talking and listening boundaries in recovery. In fact, it’s evolutionary. Our efforts to learn how to talk and listen to the people we want to be intimate is generally interrupted by internal signals within that get transmitted to us from our past. Many of us read these signals as we…
Join us for this *FREE community event where we will be discussing how covert dynamics of shame and grandiosity drive the old paradigm of marriage/relationship and make intimacy virtually impossible. Participants will also learn practical tools to help restore the intimacy between men and women. The idea is not to “repeal and replace” the entire…
Mars and Venus: Disintegrating the Old Conceptions of Patriarchal Masculinity in Marriage What is extraordinary is that once men are woken up, they can be taught how to be more relational. They can become aware of their negative patterns and be better able to put themselves aside and show up for their partners. But they…
The past election brought to the relationship stage a polarization in this country like we have not seen since the 1960’s. It brought to light a crisis between red and blue masculinity, a crisis in values. It woke us up out of our complacency about patriarchy, gender roles and their effect on psychotherapy. I want…
We know that marriage/committed relationships can provoke parts of us that are not nice or appealing. Truth be told most couples journey from the sacred to the profane in a New York second. Those of us who are married or in a committed relationship know that there is no one in the world who can…
One of the biggest challenges that recovering people deal with are relationships. It is important to realize that building a relationship in recovery is a difficult and complex process. Almost a fault, I hear people oversimplifying relationship problems by using slogans to instruct recovering people about recovery and relationships. Slogans like “Turn it Over!”…