In a life filled with visible and invisible struggles, the last place a person wants to exert great effort is—at home. Ironically, if a person does put forth time and energy into his or her home life and marriage, that person can become a safe haven from the inequities, racial harms and pains experienced in the…
What does it mean to be human? This is a frightening question these days. Wouldn’t it be easier to stay on the surface of things and medicate ourselves rather than deal with stimulation, titillation or unpredictability in relationships; with whatever it is we do that allows the present reality to be produced over and over…
Do you sometimes have trouble seeing how your behavior impacts others? Do you rage at your partner and after you calm down apologize and brush it off by saying, “That was my alcoholic/addict behavior?” Do you have trouble communicating your fears, disappointments and desires to your partner? Do you obsess about your ex-partner’s and your…
The relational paradigm is a shift in thinking. It shifts our perspective from seeing a world made up of things, to seeing a world that is open and made up primarily of relationships. It tells us that a deeper level of reality exist beyond what we can articulate. A place where everything is connected to…
It is ugly! It hurts; it’s toxic; it’s destructive. It threatens our joy and it gets in the way of us deeply connecting with others. When I was gripped by it, I wanted to die because it made me feel that I wasn’t good enough. So for years I was engulfed by it. Men walk…
We all come into relationships with two opposing fears: the fear of being abandoned, and the fear of getting too close or intimacy. These fears will get triggered when our relationship becomes more involved or we make a commitment. The closer and more intimate we become, the higher the stakes. We not only become afraid…
The purpose of romantic love is to bond us with another so that we begin to experience the inevitable tension of the power struggle … and stay committed to the process of healing and growth. A relationship that is going through a power struggle is, in a sense, like a house divided against itself. It…
The “Couple’s Pilgrimage: Receiving a Renewed Sense of Love” is a new couples seminar that is a fusion between my private intensive sessions and the couple’s workshop. I will be presenting this One-day learning opportunity on Saturday, July 22, 2017 from 10:00am – 5:00pm at the Hope Artiste Village, 1005 Main St. Suite 1208 Pawtucket,…
Attempting to take one’s life over a break-up might seem dramatic and perhaps over the top to some people, but if you’re someone who grew up in alcoholism it may not seem that far fetched. Having protected our families by keeping secrets, we continue to act in certain ways to get approval. We take responsibility…