The formula for a successful amends is to listen to our partner’s grievances with an open and courageous heart. It is not time to argue if their “reality” is correct or if their feelings are justified. It is a time to be humble, to deeply listen and of caring responses. It is also a time…
I believe most of us want to “feel understood.” To make this happen, it is not enough to understand and say so. My parents often said, “We understand you!” at times when I was sure they didn’t have the vaguest idea what was going on in me. To make a person feel understood, we must do something the Imago community calls…
In this blog I am going to discuss the issue of Resentment. From time to time resentment becomes an important stumbling block for couples and even between groups of people. I include suggestions on how to remove a specific resentment. In my personal experience, removing resentments is not a passive activity. It cannot be done…
There are practical steps to bringing reconciliation to a troubled marriage and broken relationships. In Imago relationship therapy we take a much different approach to conflict and normal problem solving. Almost immediately couples, learn a new way and energy of communicating that empowers both of you; Not to hurt or “win;” Not to judge or blame…
The Universe listens to Mama’s. Mama’s have kissed the miracle of creation and made life out of nothing. Mama’s have shared the most profound magic with us in kairos and kronos time. Mama’s are disciples of the Goddess anointed with the greatest sacred task. Grandmothers are angelic magnetic beings. Grandma’s whispers and it becomes a…
Do you know what keeps conflict and the power struggle in place? Yep! Criticism. Criticism kills love. Criticism can kill a marriage. There is no such thing as constructive criticism in intimate relationships. When we criticize others we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. When we criticize our partner we freeze them in the very…
Falling in love is like a spiritual experience. Most couples start with total positive feelings of being in love, and then somewhere down the road, they painfully split up–sometimes after they’ve dragged each other over the hot coals. What does this reality tell us? In the honeymoon stage of the relationship we coast along in…
I had a some-what-mutual break-up with my girlfriend. For five years we were together, a rocky relationship to say the least. We were in one of those relationships where you break up and get back together over and over again. Most of the time I would be the one to leave because the arguments were…
My husband walked out on me and our children six months ago. He sad he loved me but he was not in love with me, no passion, no spark, and no click. He said he was unhappy and felt I was too controlling. He also said he felt like he had a chain around his…