Amid vitriolic societal divides, we’ve lost sight of what matters most in our work – loving clients.
How did we get so off track? The blame lies with all of us.
As a young therapist, I conformed to modalities valuing compliance over connection, though it never fit my spirit. My own internalized shame led me to minimize racial and cultural dynamics to seem “safe.”
This inauthenticity crushed me and my clients.
But one day something shifted. I refused to shrink any longer. Effective therapy nurtures humanity, curiosity, and growth – not passivity, fear and the status-quo.
We must challenge therapeutic structures built on colorblindness, control and coercion that maintain oppressive social orders. Clients need therapists who greet them with radical love, cultural attunement, and belief in their potential.
The therapy space should be a site for empowerment and liberation, not reinforcing domination.
This is not an easy path.
It requires grappling with hard truths, taking risks, and unrelenting faith in each person’s brilliance. But we owe clients nothing less than full authenticity and justice. We must move beyond trying to fix and challenge the systems built on pathologizing.
Therapists must also understand that:
When Black couples cross the threshold into the therapy space, they carry centuries of collective trauma and strength within their spirits. Therapists hold a sacred duty to open wide the doorway to welcome every part of their stories.
Alongside today’s struggles, Black couples bring the voices of their ancestors longing to be heard after lifetimes of silencing.
Their stories speak boldly of cruelty, cultures ripped away, bonds shattered, promised freedoms denied. They know the hells their descendants walk through daily.
The mindset allowing such atrocities has merely morphed, not disappeared. Violence and utter disregard for Black lives continue unabated.
Ancestral wisdom recognizes today’s trauma is inextricably rooted in the past. Simultaneously this legacy also safeguards wells of profound love and attachment bonds, community, and hope never fully quashed.
Ancestral strength calls Black couples to cast out fear and stand fully in their worth. For when we ignore the why behind deeds, wisdom perishes, trapping all of it in violence, devaluation and oppression.
Black clients’ very identity weaves this complex inheritance. By listening with care, we reignite their inner light too long dimmed. True healing emerges not from any external force, but from embracing one’s wholeness.
Honoring Black couples unique needs is no easy path, yet vital guidance exists.
With cultural humility, clinicians can midwife the rebirth of their clients’ brilliance. The truth already dwells within; we need only water the seeds.
To uplift Black couples we must first make space for their full racial stories and ancestral wisdom.
Consider it an abolitionist act to liberate Black couples’ spirit and power.
The therapy room is a new liberation front.
Will you answer the call?
With gratitude,
Dr. Paula
