Many adult survivors of incest/sexual abuse have undergone therapy, perhaps joined support groups and even confronted the perpetrator(s). No matter how much healing we do, it seems that we are never truly healed and the effects of what happened are so deeply embedded in us that they become a part of our core identity. We…
“I think it is better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than to lose that someone you love with useless pride.” ~John Ruskin When reflecting back, I have seen how often I evoked painful emotions as I sought comfort and solitude in the strange reward of self satisfaction and selfishness, born out…
Many of us struggle with Validation and/or Validating others because we have a “Fear of Difference.” The fear comes from: The belief that there is a RIGHT way of seeing, describing, understanding, and valuing everything – i.e what is going on. The limited capacity to be aware that others are different, or to respect, appreciate, or…
The formula for a successful amends is to listen to our partner’s grievances with an open and courageous heart. It is not time to argue if their “reality” is correct or if their feelings are justified. It is a time to be humble, to deeply listen and of caring responses. It is also a time…
There are practical steps to bringing reconciliation to a troubled marriage and broken relationships. In Imago relationship therapy we take a much different approach to conflict and normal problem solving. Almost immediately couples, learn a new way and energy of communicating that empowers both of you; Not to hurt or “win;” Not to judge or blame…
Do you know what keeps conflict and the power struggle in place? Yep! Criticism. Criticism kills love. Criticism can kill a marriage. There is no such thing as constructive criticism in intimate relationships. When we criticize others we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. When we criticize our partner we freeze them in the very…
My husband walked out on me and our children six months ago. He sad he loved me but he was not in love with me, no passion, no spark, and no click. He said he was unhappy and felt I was too controlling. He also said he felt like he had a chain around his…
I have been with my partner for about 9 months now. He has a reputation as a womanizer, and of late has been showing me this side of his personality. It started with letters from ex-girlfriends that were descriptive of things that they would do to each other, and just today I found that he…
