We adults reenact traumatic episodes from our past just like children reenact them in play therapy. Instead of using dolls and sand trays to re-create the family dramas that harmed us, we use ourselves, our partners/spouses, and our children. The reenactment dramas that we create are unconscious efforts to communicate our hurts, and express buried grief.…
Many adult survivors of incest/sexual abuse have undergone therapy, perhaps joined support groups and even confronted the perpetrator(s). No matter how much healing we do, it seems that we are never truly healed and the effects of what happened are so deeply embedded in us that they become a part of our core identity. We…
“I think it is better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than to lose that someone you love with useless pride.” ~John Ruskin When reflecting back, I have seen how often I evoked painful emotions as I sought comfort and solitude in the strange reward of self satisfaction and selfishness, born out…
Many of us struggle with Validation and/or Validating others because we have a “Fear of Difference.” The fear comes from: The belief that there is a RIGHT way of seeing, describing, understanding, and valuing everything – i.e what is going on. The limited capacity to be aware that others are different, or to respect, appreciate, or…
My husband walked out on me and our children six months ago. He sad he loved me but he was not in love with me, no passion, no spark, and no click. He said he was unhappy and felt I was too controlling. He also said he felt like he had a chain around his…
Hello Friend, Thirty-years ago my life took a turn that became irrefutably my best chance at living and creating a life that had meaning and purpose. The skill that I learned didn’t turn into a best-selling novel, a movie, or make me rich and famous. But it did change my life forever and it’s the…
My boyfriend and I have been living together for 4 years and it is truly a great relationship. I would like the commitment of marriage, but he does not. This difference of opinion has raised the question of what really is a committed relationship? I believe that he and I both have different expectations of…
When we have problems small or big he runs from talking about them and says it’s not working for him and tries to leave me. Then as we talk more I hear about the old problems and he blames that on why we have any problems, which have nothing to do with the subject we…
