This conversation is about tweaking our own perspectives. It is a conversation about who we are, and who we have been: crouching and playing small. We are not dwelling in the fullness of our own deeper self—our magnificent, amazing, essential self.
We don’t take enough responsibility as mothers, as fathers … we don’t take enough responsibility as spouses, as lovers, as friends, as citizens. And then we wonder why our circumstances are small, why our relationships are not working, but we are afraid to wonder … to question the causes and conditions of our circumstances. We are quick to give excuses like, “I just can’t take that on, I don’t have enough time for that … I don’t have the space for that … I don’t have the energy for that … It’s not my stuff, it’s his/her stuff … I’m just trying to get by.”
But our world expands when our thinking expands. And our world constricts when our thinking constricts. Each one of us has so many opportunities. Think about how much time we spend every day allowing our psychic and emotional energy to be leeched by meaningless preoccupations, all the time we spend reading a ridiculous magazine or a ridiculous article or a ridiculous Facebook, Twitter or Instagram post rather than reading a book … or focusing on something deep and meaningful. How many times do we choose to be part of ridiculous conversations that are ridiculously unimportant?
Then we are mystified when we don’t have any energy when it comes to expanding, appreciating our blessings and cultivating goodness.
Buddhism talks about the “Noble Eight-Fold Path” and Imago relationship therapy talks about Dialogue. Part of these practices have to do with “right-speech.” Not just right intention. We love the intention aspect because it doesn’t call us to actually do anything. But right speech and right action … involve actively doing something.
I often read posts on Facebook about Toxicity: how this one is toxic and how that one is toxic. But we forget that a judgmental attitude is also toxic.
We can change–right now.
The founder of EST wrote, “You can live your life according to circumstances or you can live your life according to a vision.” And that vision comes from our own imagination. And that imagination comes from a conversation in our head. Everything new emerges from a conversation. It’s a conversation in the culture. But that conversation begins in someone’s head.
It’s so easy for us to get concerned about what’s wrong and we should be, but we don’t do enough active appreciating of what is right … and … of proactively appreciating and cultivating what is right in order to pass this on to future generations.
Holding the tension between these two is not easy. It is a job for adults.
So when we start a new conversation in our head, our relationships, our marriages, or our politics, our circumstances should not have to be catastrophic before we start to cultivate something new, something imaginative and something right. We start to cultivate something new, positive, and beautiful by actively participating in what that looks like. This can be your own Facebook page, Twitter or Instagram page. This could be your marriage.
When we examine this from a spiritual or metaphysical perspective, others may not hear us, but think of it as the Universe having ears. Everything we say, everything we do … our entire lives is a form of art. Our lives are acts of creation. There is no book you can write, no painting you can paint, no marketing strategy you can utilize, no movie you can direct…there is nothing we can create that is more significant than our own life. What kind of man are you? What kind of woman are you? Are you living crouched and playing small? Or … are you standing up in your integrity, vitality and magnificence?
Right now we are undergoing some dark circumstances that represent a profound collective mirror for us. This is what it has become and it is dangerous. We can’t look at it and say, Oh it doesn’t matter, politics don’t matter; it doesn’t matter about climate change or that millions could lose health insurance. These are absurd possibilities that we face and I am putting it lightly. These are just a few, but there are so many more. So yes, who becomes President does matter very much. Just like what happens in therapy … just like what happens in art …just like what happens in your marriage, just like what happens to Jews, Blacks, Gays, women, Muslims, Immigrants, your parents … it all matters.
Here’s my point: Does life matter? Are you playing life deep and curious or are you playing life shallow and on the surface?
Too many of us are playing it shallow and on the surface. If you’re still reading this, are in a 12-step program, or are on some kind of spiritual journey, you are already seeking greater depth.
But what I am proposing is that this depth cannot just be individual. Not anymore!! I don’t think it ever could be. And the fact that we made it about me and mine: my healing and my circumstances and my transformation, is what has allowed us to get where we are to begin with.
A famous line in the Course in Miracles says, “If we do not consciously and proactively claim the light we will be at the effect of the darkness.” I would add, If we do not proactively choose sanity and sane behaviors we will be at the effect of the insane, just like we are now.
I’ll leave you with this:
Gandhi said, “The problem with the world is that humanity is not in its right mind.” It is insane what we are doing to our planet. It is insane what we are doing to each other. It is a shame that we are not cultivating and appreciating the blessings we have already been given. It is insane that we allow so many children to suffer and starve on the planet; that we allow anyone to starve on this planet. But just like in the 12 steps, we admit this. We admit this and something begins to happen. We start to change when we consider that there might be another way. Another way might be that our collective decision-making becomes wise, spiritually grounded, profound and sophisticated.
Don’t give in! Look for examples of love, beauty, collaboration and creativity.
Blessings and peace,
