Stop crying!
Dry up those tears.
Stop crying!
Folks tell us we are weak for crying;
When all we want is a hug … a squeeze.
We apologize for crying.
With our tears streaming without warning,
Folks interrupt our crying;
When our tears need listening and not someone’s preaching.
Can they tell we crying?
The tears we repressed, because they might cost us our livelihood.
The tears we shame, because they make us look weak.
The tears we dread, because they bring us into our grief.
The tears we hide, because big girls don’t cry.
The tears of my ancestors who did not cry because they were slaves living under the master’s whip.
The tears of my mother who did not cry because she needed to survive my father’s abuse.
The tears of my brothers who did not cry, because they needed to be strong.
But we got strong all fucking wrong!
Strong is letting the soft tears melt the barriers surrounding our hearts;
Strong is letting the warm tears cleanse our wounded hearts;
Strong is letting the slow tears tame the fire of anxiety, insanity and scream of pain in our hearts.
Today,
I tell you boss, girlfriend, teacher, stranger, boyfriend, dad, colleague, acquaintance, wife, mom, partner.
I am going to cry.
I am going to set my tears free.
I am going to set my sadness free.
I am going to set you free!
They told me big girls don’t cry, but women cry.
Let’s cry together over the love we did not get;
Let’s cry together over our ancestors’ atrocities;
Let’s cry together over our government’s diabolicalness;
Let’s cry together because our tears are made of the same salt and water;
Let’s cry at work with our employees, our clients, in front of our parents, in a stranger’s arms, at train stations, walking to our cars, with our friends.
Let’s cry at school, outside Starbucks, while running, in couples therapy.
Let’s cry because we had a bad day, because our car got repossessed, because the check didn’t come, because we are PMSing, MenoPausing, Man-o-Pausing.
Let’s cry for our children, daughters, sons, nephews, nieces and all the generations to come.
And through our collective tears we shall push the barriers that are keeping us from being free.
Crying is NOT unprofessional-It’s Human!
Crying is a signal fire from the soul. We are human. Crying is an invitation. Share in humanity. Crying is an opening. Crying is the body’s most natural release valve. It is a release of energy in physical form. Crying is a miracle of humanity.
Even typing this now, the air leaves my body, the idea so revolutionary after carrying my Self-stuffed bags of feeling shame for way too long.
I am okay. You are okay. We are okay.
Feeling is strength, not weakness.
Emoting is a gift, not a disgrace!
What a major fucking tragedy that we live with this fucked-up notion that feelings are something we must learn to control,
to compartmentalize
to so-called appropriate times and locations.
What a crock of horse-shit that we must build barriers and obstruct our humanity.
You see we got strong all wrong!
We all love blog posts about bringing passion into our workplaces. Some companies hire high-priced consultants to train their teams to practice empathy with clients and customers.
We engage in elaborate exercises designed to unlock creativity.
These are expressions of our humanity.
Passion, empathy, creativity— are all manifestations of our truest Self, our deepest essence—our humanness.
Our penchant for tears is inextricably interwoven with each.
To ask anyone to deny their tears is to ask them to set who they are aside.
I woke up this morning with a swell of feeling moving in my body.
Feeling with depth and intensity is not a detriment, it is a strength.
A sensibility and awareness that is worthy of honor and respect, not fear.
We got strong all wrong!
I could feel the swell moving through my chest.
Stop?
Suppress?
I held it for a moment.
And then I gently placed it aside, clearing the way for my tears to come.
Selective crying is not an option.
Not these days.
I hurt all over.
Go now … Have a good cry.
Love & blessings,
Paula
