Is your relationship failing and you are wondering how to get back up again? I realize this is a very vulnerable subject.
So I hope this helps you today.
I was working with a couple last week and the husband asked me, “Do you work with a lot of couples? We have been struggling a long time and it seems like all of our friends are happy.”
Don’t bee fooled by what a couple looks like from the outside. Many couples look happy from the outside.
He went on to say, “I have to tell you I’m glad we found you and that you do something different, but I am very skeptical.”
I said, “I understand.”
I believed he was skeptical, but that’s not what I saw on both their faces.
I saw a couple beat down after years of trying to change each other, beat down by soliciting advice from family and friends that completely split them apart.
I saw a couple who did this in an attempt to change their relationship.
Here’s what the beat-down can sometimes look like:
- Soliciting advice from their friends and family
- Arguing about who’s right and who’s wrong – needing to be right
- Blaming, criticizing and/or diagnosing their partner as the problem
- One partner going to individual therapy and painting a negative image of the other
- In therapy the suggestion of separation or divorce may come up (pulling the couple further apart rather than pulling them together)
- One partner may move out – with new freedom starts up an affair of some kind
- But time goes by they miss each other, grass isn’t quite greener so try again to get back together
- Arguments become more vicious cycles with a few good days sprinkled in between, but the bad days by far out weight the good days.
- The couples make a serious attempt to get help because they have a child now or another child and they don’t want their children to continue growing up in the nightmare of their relationship
Check out my upcoming workshop: Click here for more information
You are ready to give up doing your relationship the hard way and most of all you want to be close again.
Then the time is to act now!
So sign up here for my upcoming workshop.
Love in Connection,
Paula M. Smith, M.Div., MFT
Certified Imago Therapist
401-782-7899
