The goal of the initial session is to assist couples to have a different experience of their relationship, themselves, and obtain a renewed sense of hope and confidence for the future.
When couples come to therapy they are not looking to be judged. Many already feel defeated because they have not lived up to the “happily ever after myth” that permeates our society. They are hurt, frustrated and disappointed and some want me to see right off the bat that their partner is “crazy.” But most couples tell me that they want things to be different and less painful.
So I see myself as a guide; a nonjudgmental, unconditionally understanding therapist and coach.
I guide couples to shift their relationship in a different direction and have a new experience. To go beyond clear-cut explanations, blame, judgments, and criticizing and to create safety. Relational couples therapy offers this to married and committed couples.
One important aspect of relational couples therapy is that all pathology (depression, anxiety, traumas, etc.) is relational and the source of all difficulties is a ruptured connection that is recreated over and over in adult intimate relationships. A lot of couples are adept in describing their symptoms, diagnosing each other about what’s “wrong.” Unfortunately it’s turned a tool into a weapon. I already know what’s wrong: two people are unhappy with each other, therefore I provide skills not a diagnosis.
I teach couples skills and give them information that will change how they see each other and open the communication pathways. Couples meet with each other and achieve an empathetic connection through conscious dialogical communication. Conscious dialogical communication occurs between the two partners, restores the connection and this connection leads to the healing of emotional wounds, characteriological development and spiritual growth.
In Relational Couples Therapy the focus is not on the intra-psychic functioning of each individual separately, but on how their interactions affect the marriage/committed relationship. In Relational Couple Therapy partners can and do address their individual issues, but these issues are addressed within the context of the “marriage/committed relationship” dynamics.
This NEW experiential, non-traditional, emotional-mind-body process is a journey that will invite partners to loosen their grip to be reactive, defend, close off, withdraw or go numb, … and instead feel into and “listen empathetically” to each other, rather than analyzing, judging, projecting, interpreting each other’s behaviors and actions. And instead become a source of safety and a healing balm for each other. This initial consult typically lasts 2 – 2 1/2 hours and cost $195.00.
*** Relational couples therapy is not covered by insurances because it doesn’t respond to parameters of managed care and therefore not reimbursable by insurance companies.